Feeling exhausted, overburdened, and as though you’re prioritising other people all the time? You’re not by yourself. We frequently forget to set ourselves first in our need to remember lives. But what if looking for yourself was the secret to a happier life rather than being selfish? The book “Choosing Yourself: How to Prioritise Your Well-Being” will take you on a self-discovery trip and teach you how to prioritise your needs without feeling guilty. Discover how to establish boundaries, develop good habits, and care for your physical and emotional well-being. This book serves as your guide to a more contented and well-being.
Let’s review the five actions I took to take care of my well-being when I heard the call and how I now do it daily.
Make space for your interests
Stuart Brown is the author of Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, which is excellent reading. In it, he discusses the science of play and how it contributes to our happiness.
Stroll through your neighborhood and watch kids playing—they’ll be running, hiding, laughing, and screaming—to see this in action. Their lack of restraint and sense of freedom is admirable. Now, reflect on your early years. What was it you used to like to do? For what reason did you laugh? What gave you a sense of life? What caused you to become disoriented? What calms you down right now? What makes you happy?
Permit yourself to rediscover your passions and areas of interest. Embrace them into your day or week, and you’ll come to life.
Make space for stillness and reflection
Creating time each day for silence and introspection has proven beneficial to my well-being. For the past six months, I have begun my days with a ten-minute meditation and thirty minutes of journaling, something I never did before.
To accommodate this, I get up an hour earlier than the rest of the family, and now that it has become such a cherished time of day, I find myself jumping out of bed rather than crawling.
Many studies have shown the benefits of journaling and meditation, including how they can lower stress, increase self-awareness, improve sleep, and other mental health issues. I discovered that my desire for this alone time increased as I spent more time on it. I stay anchored for the day ahead by going deeper into the calm waters before the day starts.
Make space for self-care
We must never forget the need to care for ourselves to counter the message of giving to others. As Lalah Delia once said, “Taking care of yourself is how you take your power back.” We cannot give and give until our well is empty. Nobody will gain from that.
Research psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff focuses on self-compassion. Her book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself changed my life by illuminating the connection between self-esteem and self-care. It made me see that I should treat myself with the same kindness and consideration as a close friend.
Adopting healthy lifestyle practices, such as going for walks, eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and adhering to treatment programmes, is considered self-care. For me, self-care consists of things like journaling, walking, meditation, regular massages, spa days, and time spent in nature. Determine what suits you best, then try to fit it into your schedule.
Make space for pushing your limits
The following two queries pop into my head when I consider limits:
- What areas of my comfort zone am I entering, and how can I force myself to leave them?
- Which of my ideas about my circumstances or myself are preventing me from moving forward?
The first question makes me consider scenarios where I would endure discomfort to advance in my career.
Dr. Brené Brown states, “You get courage by doing courageous acts. It’s like—it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue.” Learning to swim by doing so is comparable to courage. Courage teaches you courage. Go over that again. Courage teaches you courage. It takes guts to push your boundaries, but only by doing so will we discover how much more significant, stronger, and capable we can become.
I have to consider my limiting views in light of the second issue. I turn to Byron Katie’s work for this as he pushes me to consider the question, “Is it true? Can I be sure it’s true? When I believe that concept, how do I respond? Without the thought, who would I be? I frequently use this framework in my notebook because it has changed my life. Please investigate your ideas and see what beliefs prevent you from moving forward.
Make space for envisioning how you want your life to be
Have you ever taken a moment to really picture the life you want? Not someone else’s dream, but a masterpiece made of your most sincere hopes and dreams. Making time for this kind of visualisation can seem like a luxury in the chaos of everyday life. Nonetheless, it’s an essential step in creating a life that fulfils and has a purpose. That is about unleashing the potential of possibilities, not about strict preparation. Here, we’ll walk you through activities and thought-provoking questions to help you visualise “thriving” in your own words. So get yourself a cup of tea, turn off all outside noise, and prepare to go out on a journey of self-discovery. Together, let’s create room to imagine the life you really want.
Final Thoughts
I heard my inner wisdom saying, “Select me!” six months ago. That signalled the start of a life-changing process that involved letting go of social conventions and discovering the value of self-love. Making room for myself—my play, my sleep, my care, my convictions, and my vision—has been the journey. Even though it can appear self-serving at first, I feel as though my spirit is being fed and my mind is being at ease.
When I put my health first, I’m better able to give my all to the people in my life, including my spouse, kids, parents, friends, and community. Choosing for yourself doesn’t mean ignoring other people; rather, it means making sure you have the courage and self-awareness to support others. I’ve learned from this trip that a happy and balanced existence is built on a foundation of self-love.
Isn’t that ultimately what matters? Being our best selves in order to improve the lives of the people we care about genuinely.
Write all the time. I believe in writing every day, at least a thousand words a day. We have a strange idea about writing: that it can be done, and done well, without a great deal of effort. Dancers practice every day, musicians practice every day, even when they are at the peak of their careers – especially then. Somehow, we don’t take writing as seriously. But writing – writing wonderfully – takes just as much dedication.
