I’ve felt a change in my career during the last few years. My employment no longer felt relevant, even after spending years developing my skills, obtaining degrees, and obtaining certifications.
While I considered changing, one recurring thought kept coming: “Why can’t you just be grateful for what you have?” Despite having much to be thankful for, I was unhappy and frequently criticized myself. After trying in vain for months to ignore it, I chose to sit with the guilt and explore the idea with curiosity.
I discovered this was a protective inner critic that was part of me.
My critic didn’t want me to change, so it encouraged me to be thankful. It was reasoned that if I appreciated what I had, I wouldn’t go after what I truly desired and couldn’t fail. I couldn’t be judged since I wouldn’t be seen either. These items were essential to that aspect of myself. That explains why putting things off didn’t work.
Understanding Your Inner Critic
Everyone has heard the suggestion to quiet our inner critic. We’ve been advised to ignore that critical voice and persevere for years. However, one of the worst things you can do is ignore your inner critic. I know it’s enticing, but that voice can sometimes be unforgiving and brutal. Brushing it off is like ordering a scared child to shut up and leave.
Certain aspects of yourself, such as your inner critic or shame—or guilt-ridden elements, evolved to protect you as a youngster. They also work incredibly well.
If I listen to my inner critic when it says I’ll never be able to accomplish something, I won’t try, and I can’t fail. It has successfully kept me safe. That aspect wasn’t on board, so it can be draining and overwhelming even if I might make some progress if I ignore it and go for it anyway. My energy is split as a result of this.
When these components aren’t combined, your sense of value declines. The secret is to start paying attention to and incorporating these components.
Listening to Your Inner Critic
What, then, should you do if a child is afraid? You pay attention. You sit with them, listen to their needs, and offer consolation. They begin to settle down when you do this. Your inner critic is subject to the same rules. Try listening to it instead of ignoring it.
You might start to comprehend the source of your inner critic if you give it some recognition. It frequently tries to shield you from perceived harm or failure. You can deal with your underlying anxieties and phobias by listening to yourself. While you don’t have to agree with everything it says, knowing its point of view can make you react to yourself in more sympathetic ways.
Practical Steps to Embrace Your Inner Critic
The Power of Self-Compassion
Getting in touch with your inner critic is a big step towards developing self-compassion. You can cultivate a more caring mental environment by listening to this critical voice and responding kindly. This strategy has the potential to significantly alter your coping mechanisms for stress, difficulties, and failures.
Recall that practising self-compassion does not equate to laziness or complacency. It’s about treating oneself with the same compassion and consideration you would give to a loved one and realizing that you are a human rather than a human being. It’s about striking a balance and permitting oneself to take breaks and rest when necessary.
My Journey to Self-Compassion
Reflecting on my personal experience, my inner critic has gotten quieter the more I’ve paid attention to it rather than ignored it. I’ve noticed a marked increase in creativity and productivity when I embrace my inner critic. That is a crystal-clear reminder that looking for myself produces greater results.
My life began to change positively as I engaged in self-compassion practices. Activities that had appeared burdensome before became manageable, and those that had seemed frightening before became enjoyable. By listening to my inner critic with empathy and understanding, I developed a healthy relationship with myself and led a more contented and well-rounded life.
Accepting your inner critic is not always simple. It takes time, effort, and readiness to expose oneself. However, the benefits are enormous. Gaining insight from your inner critic can help you become more self-compassionate, which improves your general well-being and productivity.
The next time you hear that voice of criticism, stop and listen for a second. Inquire what it requires and answer politely. Remember that your inner critic is a part of you looking for validation and affection. Accepting it makes a big step towards living a more meaningful and compassionate life.
Please think about how you interact with your inner critic. What’s your usual reaction to it? What adjustments can you start making to begin compassionately accepting it?
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
